What's in a name?
by Violent Pixi
Summary: Renesme Carlie Cullen and Albus Severus Potter both have really really really stupid names. Their rivaly cannot be taken any furthur, so so they thought! Just some crack. Renesmee/Albus


**Because they both have really really stupid names...**

Renesmee Carlie Cullen sat opposit her nemesis, Albus Severus Potter, and glared.

"You think you're better than me?" She hissed though her lips that were on her fourteen year old body.

Albus Severus had just turned sixteen and had lived with the horror of his name for too long. "Yes. How old are you, thirteen? You havn't lived with your name as long as I have."

She stuck her tounge out. "Just because I look young doesn't mean I've lived that long. Im actually eighteen." She lied, she was actually only twelve years old but that hardly mattered and the reven haired boy couldn't call her bluff.

He growled. "You're just a stupid little girl anyway. My name is worse. Im named after this shit old bloke who died and this greasey skeeseball who also died. My parents hate me!"

She laughed. "Im named after all four of my grandparents, except their names are shoved together. My name isn't even _real_. Renesmee...it's stupid!"

"Yes it is stupid. Not not as much as mine. At least Carlie is slightly normal, but both my names are retarded. By brother and sister are called James and Lily, how average can you get? But oh, no. For their second son, they tourture him. Even my own mother hates my name." He laughed bitterly. "I think she lost to rock, paper, scissors at naming us."

Resnesmee glared. "My name isn't real. My dad didn't have a say in mine either and my stupid mother, whilse she was dying, chose my name purly out of insanity and lust for blood! But my dad lets her have whatever the hell she wants."

Albus Severus glared at Renessmee Carlie again. "My parents are worse. My father is irritating and famous and an angsty little shit. I swear he's always looking for attention, which is why he gave me a crap name."

"Oh, you poor thing. Im set to be with a werewolf, despite me being half vampire and half human. Imagine the children! He hates my dad and was in love with my mum and now pines after me. It's so weird and creepy!"

"Well, everyone expects me to become gay with my dad's nemesis's son, who's called Scorpius. His name is pretty retarded too, but his dad was evil so he's suppost to have one. Im suppost to be good!"

"My author just shoved me in her book to tear the vampire genre to pieces. Vampires cannot have children, and, scientifically, it doesn't even make any sence! After a hundred years, my dad shopuld be shooting blanks, but, oh no, they knocked up my mother on their honeymoon. The entire Breaking Dawn novel was shit and for some reason, half vampire and half human makes a little werewolf child thing. It doesn't make sence! My author is also some pervert who is in love with dead people and wants to be a gothic vampire. And she's a mormon or somehting, I don't know."

"My author killed off people just to be interesting and, you may have noticed, every single good secondary character died and not a single main. Also, she made this amazing possibility of Draco becomming good, but she hardly follows it through. That would have been a great plot bunny. I mean, him and Luna or Hermione. It makes so much more sence then Hermy going for Ron, who's a git all the time and nobody seems to notice!"

Renesme growled. "Oh yeah? Well my family are all really really old and suck animals blood and have sex really loudly even when Im there!"

"MY FAMILY IS THE RESULT OF GENERATIONS OF INCEST!"

Renesme stopped. "Wow, thats screwed up... But MY NAME ISN'T EVEN REAL!"

"MY NAME IS STUPID!"

_"YOU'RE STUPID!"_

_"YOU'RE STUPIDER!"_

They stopped, huffing and out of breath, Albus was red in the face and Renesme had bright pink cheeks from yelling so loudly.

All of a sudden, Renesme pounced, her lips attacking Albus' ones and he struggled for control, as they hungrily and angrily smooched the hell out of each other, her fingers knotting tightly in his hair. His pulling her waist close to him.

She growled against his lips. "I hate you!"

He huffed. "I hate you more."

* * *

**Really, really stupid names... :D their rivally was interesting and i really wanted some crack. I think these two would hit it off or hate each other. So i made both happen! YAY for crack crossovers!**


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